To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
