one two three fourrrrnication!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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