sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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