Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
