i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
