She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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