wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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