dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
