Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
