Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
