I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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