Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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