they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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