why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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