i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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