no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
