wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
