we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
