Welp...herpes.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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