Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
