Non-Jews are for practice
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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