its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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