I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
