Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
did i walk over a car last night?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
