All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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