Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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