dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
