Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
