so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
