Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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