Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
