you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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