he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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