Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
