my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Panties = found
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
