It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
