are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
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