also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
