I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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