bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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