pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
someone owes me an orgasm
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
