i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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