sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
