I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
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