Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
