3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
