it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
