I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
