Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
