so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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